I have a cunning plan …
Is it just me, or does Theresa May’s Brexit Plan B look remarkably like her Plan A? Plan B, remember, didn’t exist. It couldn’t because it was her deal or nothing.
Aah! Now I see. ‘Tis her cunning plan! There can be no real Plan B, so we’ll take Plan A and simply call it Plan B. That’ll fool ’em, eh? Theresa May, the Baldrick of politics.
‘Twas ‘Deal or No Deal’, you see,
Until she invented Plan B,
But Theresa’s May-hem
Will soon overwhelm
Them both. So, how about C?
“En politique, une absurdité n’est pas un obstacle”
A couple of weeks ago it was the former UK Chancellor, George Osborne, that had me suspending both belief and disbelief. This week it is the turn of the UK’s Prime Minister to promote incredulity.
Having studiously ignored all the signs that her ‘deal’ with Europe on the UK’s hair-shirted and self-flagellating attempt to leave the EU was not only doomed to failure, but would end in unalloyed humiliation, she diligently continued her journey to a self-induced political disaster.
The UK Parliament has inflicted upon her one of the greatest defeats a British Prime Minister has ever endured, but there is no thought of her resigning. Quelle surprise! Instead she wants to explore Plan B despite weeks of her proselytising that there could be no Plan B.
The honorable thing to do would be to resign, “but” say her apologists “these are not ordinary days”. Instead we are saddled with a Prime Minister that has tasked herself to resolve a problem created by her own appalling lack of judgement when, clearly, she is a part of the problem and not the solution; regrettably, the same can be said of the Leader of the Opposition!
So what price honour in politics, these days? No doubt Theresa May’s supporters would claim Charlie Chaplin’s litany on her behalf, that “Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself”, but I prefer Bonaparte’s bon mots (in English this time) that “In politics, stupidity is not a handicap”.
A Prime Minister once tried to promote
A deal that she knew wouldn’t float.
The fruit of her gambles?
Complete omni-shambles.
No surprise she got trounced in the vote!
Postscript:
As reported in The Scotsman, Theresa May stood for election in 2005 “under a Conservative manifesto promising a second referendum to decide whether to overturn the 1997 result [of the Welsh referendum on its devolved government]” yet she denies the UK public a People’s Vote on whether to reaffirm or abandon Brexit now that the public is better informed.
In the same article, she is also reported as having “voted for a ‘wrecking’ amendment to the 1998 Scotland Act that would have struck down legislation creating the Scottish Parliament”; legislation that was enacted as a result of the devolution referendum. A contrary stance on the people’s voice to the one that she advocates now.
… just saying!
Out on the pull…
I had my gym induction as a new evergreen member of the Aberdeen Sports Village this week. ‘Evergreen’ is the polite word they use for their ‘old farts’ subscription rates.
Happily, I am at the younger end of the old-folks age spectrum and, despite being unfit and overweight, I enjoyed the induction. Nevertheless, in comparison to the slim and trim youth for whom their bodies are temples, I probably came across more as Angkor Wat than gym bunny. Still, that made me laugh even more at one young bloke, a wannabe Adonis, who was clearly out to impress a couple of the svelte young female gym members and missed his mouth completely when taking a swig from his water bottle. ‘Twas an epic fail.
After my induction I had to take an unhappy sounding car to be looked at. It had begun to misfire and a warning light had illuminated to tell me the electronic control unit had put the car in to ‘limp mode’. The dealership is about a mile and a half from home, so as I was in sports kit I thought I’d jog back after dropping-off the motor. That was when I had my own epic fail and tweaked a calf muscle halfway home. Just like the car I was reduced to limp mode.
Still, putting together the collective misfortunes of the wishful thinking young Adonis and me, it inspired this week’s ALAW…
A muscular youth at the gym
Thought the girls would all fancy him,
But despite his best hustle
All he pulled was a muscle.
Served him right for being out on a limb!
Goodness gracious … great balls of fire!
This week’s limerick is inspired by our neighbouring town’s famous Hogmanay fireball ceremony…
When the Old Year senescently crawls
To a close, that’s when it befalls
The Stonehaven folk
To go swinging, and stoke
The flames of their smouldering balls.
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