A limerick a week #259

It’s Tina Sparkle!

There can only be one candidate as the subject of this week’s ALAW…

The Fruity Rumba, a dance second only to the Bogo Pogo.

Yup, Michael Gove, a UK Government Minister and former ‘stardust’ devotee, has found a new way to relax after a hard day in the office by dancing his own steps on an Aberdeen techno-club dance floor.

Here’s the limerick…

A Minister once set out to prove
That when dancing he’d cut quite a groove,
But a gauche hedonist
When outré and pi**ed
Is nowt but a tw*t on the move.

A limerick a week #248

A bit of a Grilling…

This week’s ALAW is inspired by (i) a recent night out that ended up at a venerable Aberdeen institition and (ii) the pecuniary perils of sampling its menu of single malts. 

A chap once went out on the lash
And drank away all of his cash,
But he gave not a damn,
Drinking dram after dram.
‘Twas a Rabelasian stramash!

(Despite the impression given by the limerick, social distancing was observed at all times on the evening in question and no miscreant behaviour took place! The bit about pouring all your money down your throat is, though, sadly true.)

Postscript: although it is now a very welcoming pub, The Grill has history. Being a ‘men only’ pub at the time, it was invaded by female trade unionists in 1973, but even after that women were not allowed to be served until 1975 and female toilets were not installed until 1998! You can read some of its history here.

A limerick a week #179

On relationships going south…

Mid-february in Aberdeen is not the ideal time to have a new boiler installed. My strategy for dealing with the inevitable disruption and the loss of central heating and hot water was to order in some extra logs and coal.

Management’s solution, along with The Tall Child, was to book flights to Australia and leave me to it.

I’ll leave you to decide who was the wisest!

A chap was once given to wonder
If he’d made an almighty blunder,
‘Cos he stayed on his own
In a cold Scottish home
Whilst the others bu****ed-off Down Under! 

Everyone needs…

… a porpoise in life

or a dolphin or two! The dolphins put on a terrific show just outside Aberdeen harbour last week (pics taken on a Canon 650D camera at 1/640 seconds exposure and ISO 400, with a Tamron SP 150-600 Di VC USD zoom lens).

I was observing from the shore and this sequence was shot at f11 at 500mm…

If you are observing from a boat and not from the shore, then the rule is to let the dolphins encroach upon you and not for you to encroach upon them – the Aberdeen Harbour pilot boat got it very wrong!

These other pics were shot at f10 at 600mm…



Arise fair sun …

Aberdeen in June:

dreich driːx/ adjectiveSCOTTISH (especially of weather) dreary; bleak. "a cold, dreich early April day"
(especially of weather) dreary; bleak.
“a cold, dreich early April day”

… and why we go on holiday:

'Roastit' 😊
‘Roastit’ 😊

I struggled to find an appropriate word or phrase for ‘warm and sunny’ in an online Scots dictionary. ‘Roastit’, ‘swealtry’ and ‘cosie’ were the only three words on offer, but note that the latter implies being wrapped up warm and not just warm per se! I found them on the ‘RampantScotland’ website and this is how it introduced them:

Here are a few Scots words about being warm. Since there were so few such words (!) there are also words about being cold too …

Enough said, so here is a pic of our pool instead!

Villa Yesero, Pollença
Villa Yesero, Pollença