Month: May 2022

Occasional Limericks Only #19

A small step for man…

I’m told that to celebrate the life of Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson (1878-1949), they (whomsoever ‘they’ are) declared his birthday, today (25 May), to be National Tap Dancing Day.

As there’s no way that I’d post a picture of me tap dancing (try visualising a ‘dad-dancing’ tree trunk), here’s another chance to look at a pic of my tap shoes instead.

My tap shoes – from an old-school B&W analogue photo exhibited at the last Gray’s School of Art ‘short course’ exhibition.

… and here’s the limerick

If you don’t fancy trying ballet
There’s news that I’d like to convey:
Find some music that rocks
And lace up your Blochs
‘Cos it’s National Tap Dancing Day!

Occasional Limericks Only #18

Let’s get fizzical…

Congratulations to Biniam Girmay on his first stage victory in one of cycling’s Grand Tours, the Giro d’Italia.

Photo: Intermarché-Wanty-Gobert

Unfortunately another ‘first’ came soon after when he cracked open some Italian bubbly on the victor’s podium only to spend several hours in hospital as a result! Sadly, he had to abandon the race as…

The bottle’s seasoned cork
Flew out awry,
Caught him in the eye,
And Biniam bit the dust!

(no prizes for guessing the lacto-orientated song that inspired those lines)

Here’s the limerick:

A cyclist raised his arms to the sky
When he won his first race then let fly
The cork from its bottle,
Which hit him full throttle,
How’s that for one in the eye!

Occasional Limericks Only #17

A walk in the woods

A limerick for National Limerick Day inspired by yesterday’s dog walk with Callie through Tollohill Woods (NB the video may not play in the subscriber notification; however, it should be viewable on the original blog post)…

A collie decided to frolic,
To run and to jump and to rollick.
The dappled sunlight
Made her zoomies ignite
Amidst scenery oh-so bucolic!

… and “yes”, pedants, I know that woodlands are sylvan and not bucolic, but the views from the western margins of Tollohill Wood are truly bucolic, as in the pic, below:

Bucolic, bu-collie, bu-Callie

Occasional Limericks Only #15

News from the Parish Council

I have to hand it to the UK Government’s ‘honourable member’ for Tiverton and Horneyiton for creating a parliamentary first when caught perusing pornography during a parliamentary debate.

Neil Parish MP, for it was he, explained that, originally, he was looking at tractors on his smartphone, but inadvertently opened a porn site.

Such an excuse seems a bit ‘iffy’ to say the least, but he then acknowledged that a subsequent perusal of wanton lewdness was intentional, before resigning his seat in the House.

If such an event is, indeed, a ‘first’ for the House of Commons, it is neverthless underpinned by a more disquieting reality. As reported by the BBC, “56 MPs are under investigation for sexual misconduct, and that includes three of his [Boris Johnson’s] Cabinet ministers”. Fifty six!

Despite that, the Government’s response to the Parish news was inexcusably lame. John Crace, the Graun’s parliamentary sketch writer, put it rather well:

So it was Ben Wallace’s bad luck that he was the minister given the short straw of explaining all this on the morning media round. The defence secretary did not cover himself in glory. A simple “This is unacceptable,” and “All women should be treated with respect,” would have done. Instead he chose to play the “long hours, hard-working, late bars” card. As if that was somehow an excuse and any man who worked late and then went to the pub couldn’t help but revert to a naturally sexist self. Clearly some MPs must congratulate themselves for getting through the day without sexually harassing anyone.

Here’s the limerick:

An MP it seems tried to peer
At a rather attractive John Deere
– An American tractor –
But was shocked by an actor
In tumescent flagrente, t’would appear