A limerick a week #227

Let sleeping dogs repose...

On Firstborn getting out of bed in the small hours to re-fill her water bottle, inadvertently allowing @calliebordeaux to escape from the kitchen, climb the stairs, and recline upon a pre-warmed bed…

There once was a man whose young daughter
Got up in the night for some water
To their dog’s immense glee
‘Cos her bed was now free
To climb in, when it shouldn’t have ought ter!

A limerick a week #222

Melancholy Callie

Words inspired by @calliebordeaux and her mournful look after I brought her home from the vet yesterday…

A young dog, so badly betrayed,
Told the world she was really dismayed
And felt discontent
‘Cos she didn’t consent
To be sent to the vet to be spayed.

@calliebordeaux feeling understandably sorry for herself and, no doubt, pretty pi**ed off with me…

Postscript: On a seasonal note, it’s Christmas. That means it’s beholden on me to take some of the joy out of your merriment (again!) by once more drawing attention to the tragic tale of young Lovell’s Christmas bride. Go on, remind yourself – you know you want to – it’s here.

A limerick a week #212

The Traveling Dogburys

I can’t abide dog owners that don’t clean up their dog’s mess and I really cannot understand those that do bag it up, but then leave the bag lying around or even hanging off a bush. I mean, why?

{start virtue signalling}
All of which explains why I took a 34 mile round trip to retrieve a bag of doggy-dos that I had inadvertently left behind after one of @calliebordeaux‘s agility classes. I’d put it down by the side of my van while I gave her some water and then promptly forgot about it until I arrived home. Cue a return trip to recover it.
{end virtue signalling}

As well as not understanding some dog owners, there are times that I don’t understand my pup either. She loves to get out and about, but always pretends not to whenever she sees me with her lead and harness.

And then there are her, erm, toileting habits. Most dogs seem to leave a single pile of muck, but not mine. Oh no. She goes walkabout and leaves a trail of messages, each of which needs to be spotted if they’re to be bagged. Still, it has inspired this…

There once was a young puppy who
Had bowels that were somewhat askew.
So she ‘held on’ until
She couldn’t stand still
Then set off on a travelling poo.

A limerick a week #207

Hot under the collar

All elective veterinary procedures were in abeyance when my pup was due to be spayed earlier this year. That meant we’d have to live with her going through a second ‘season’ before she could be neutered and, lo and behold, that season is well and truly upon us now.

Several dogs have made overtures but you could tell it was getting serious when she was pursued by an elderly and extremely overweight labrador in the park yesterday.

Marley in hot pursuit…

Marley, for it was he, pants even when walking slowly, so the sight and sounds of him struggling to catch up with a young border collie that was intent on giving him the elbow was something to behold as well as a coronary concern for the adipose old canine.

Anyway, there will be no more off-lead encounters for now and ‘walkies’ at quiet times only. Her ‘young dog’ training class might be fun for the next couple of weeks though!

Here’s the limerick:

A dog was once heard to intone
That she’d rather stay home on her own.
The obvious reason?
She’s come into season
And the boys wouldn’t leave her alone!

A limerick a week #191

Things are warming up again

Border collies are renowned for ‘giving the eye’, a long, hard stare used to intimidate sheep when herding them. I’ve found that mine, @calliebordeaux, also uses it to express disbelief when I ask her to do something she’d rather not, or when I disappoint her in some way; the former conveys contempt, the latter is intended to guilt trip. 

@calliebordeaux giving me ‘the eye’

Anyway, immediately after the trauma of living with her ‘in season’ earlier this year, I was advised to wait for three months before having her spayed. Unfortunately, the corona virus lockdown means that vets are not offering that service just now, so it looks as if another ‘season’ looms later in the summer, the thought of which inspired this…

A young female dog thought it neat
To flaunt herself out on the street.
If you dared to ask why
She’d just give you ‘the eye’
And sneer “Can’t you tell I’m on heat?”!

A limerick a week #183

Who let the dogs out?

I’ve got a weird dog! Not weird in the sense of weird-looking, but weird in the sense that she loves to go on a walk but always hides whenever she sees me with her lead. And if you ask “do you want to go for a walk, she dashes over to you (so long as there is no lead in sight), turns turtle and begs for a tummy tickle.

When we are out together, they’re her walks not mine, so, for as long as she behaves herself and keeps a loose lead, then if she wants to stop and sniff a lampost, she can. If she wants to say “hello” to other dogs or people, she can (and does!).

@calliebordeaux enjoying a roll in the park

She’s still a puppy, albeit in those ‘teenage’ years when she can be quite wilful, and her recall is not yet rock solid, but she can explore away from me on a long lead and runs off-lead with the pack at the fully enclosed field at Hazlehead Park in Aberdeen.

@calliebordeaux on a favourite walk around the grounds of Dunecht House.

So, although she really enjoys herself outside, she always plays hard to get when when it’s time to go out. It’s truly bizarre, but I think in these strange days of pandemic and lockdown I know why…

There once was a dog kept frustrating
Her owner ‘cos she kept hesitating
To set foot outside
She’d just stay in and hide.
Seems that puppy was self-isolating!