A limerick a week #239

Everything’s in ordure

My (current) favourite dog walking area has the terrific advantage of being a sheep-free zone. The obvious benefit is that dogs can run off-lead without any concerns about sheep worrying. The less obvious advantage is that it prevents my Border Collie, @calliebordeaux, from indulging in one of her favourite-but-gross pastoral activities; eating sheep sh*t.

Unfortunately, horse riders can also use the woodland tracks and that means there are occasional piles of horse poo to negotiate. Horse poo is also a savoury delight according to Callie, but such piles are usually obvious enough to be seen in time for me to distract her with a treat before she can indulge her gastronomic passion.

On a recent walk, however, I was talking to a friend and failed to see Callie head towards a heap of it. Too late, I saw her chomping down on some, but what was most galling wasn’t the act itself, but the knowing and wholly gratuitous way that she looked at us afterwards as she gleefully licked her lips. Double gross!

Callie relives the moment on a subsequent foray into the forest!

When your supply of sheep sh*t runs dry
There’s alternatives on which to rely
So don’t cash in your chips
Why not just lick your lips
‘Cos horse poo will help you get by!

Postscript: like some others, this week’s ALAW requires an accompanying narrative for it to make any kind of sense. But some of them can be tweaked to remove any need for context and can be read standalone. This week’s is a good example, ergo…

When your supply of tequila runs dry
There’s alternatives on which to rely
So don’t cash in your chips
Why not just lick your lips
‘Cos absinthe will help you get by!

Published by



😎 Former scientist, now graduated to a life of leisure; Family man (which may surprise the family - it certainly surprises him); Likes cycling and old-fashioned B&W film photography; Dislikes greasy-pole-climbing 'yes men'; Thinks Afterlife (previously known as Thea Gilmore) should be much better known than she is; Values decency over achievement.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.