Occasional Limericks Only #15

News from the Parish Council

I have to hand it to the UK Government’s ‘honourable member’ for Tiverton and Horneyiton for creating a parliamentary first when caught perusing pornography during a parliamentary debate.

Neil Parish MP, for it was he, explained that, originally, he was looking at tractors on his smartphone, but inadvertently opened a porn site.

Such an excuse seems a bit ‘iffy’ to say the least, but he then acknowledged that a subsequent perusal of wanton lewdness was intentional, before resigning his seat in the House.

If such an event is, indeed, a ‘first’ for the House of Commons, it is neverthless underpinned by a more disquieting reality. As reported by the BBC, “56 MPs are under investigation for sexual misconduct, and that includes three of his [Boris Johnson’s] Cabinet ministers”. Fifty six!

Despite that, the Government’s response to the Parish news was inexcusably lame. John Crace, the Graun’s parliamentary sketch writer, put it rather well:

So it was Ben Wallace’s bad luck that he was the minister given the short straw of explaining all this on the morning media round. The defence secretary did not cover himself in glory. A simple “This is unacceptable,” and “All women should be treated with respect,” would have done. Instead he chose to play the “long hours, hard-working, late bars” card. As if that was somehow an excuse and any man who worked late and then went to the pub couldn’t help but revert to a naturally sexist self. Clearly some MPs must congratulate themselves for getting through the day without sexually harassing anyone.

Here’s the limerick:

An MP it seems tried to peer
At a rather attractive John Deere
– An American tractor –
But was shocked by an actor
In tumescent flagrente, t’would appear 

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😎 Former scientist, now graduated to a life of leisure; Family man (which may surprise the family - it certainly surprises him); Likes cycling and old-fashioned B&W film photography; Dislikes greasy-pole-climbing 'yes men'; Thinks Afterlife (previously known as Thea Gilmore) should be much better known than she is; Values decency over achievement.

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