So, Elton John has told the world that he’ll be through with touring after his next three-year world tour. At the age of 73 he will then be able to spend more time with his young family.
Personally, I’ve never been quite sure what to make of him. I like his music and clearly he’s massively talented, successful and a great showman, but seemingly prone to any number of hissy fits when things don’t quite please him or go his way. I wonder how that will play out when ensconced full-time with a pair of pre-teen kids?
… or as Philip Glenister said playing the character of Daniel Cotton in ‘From There to Here’: “I’m NOT angry; I’m just permanently IRRITATED!”
Actually, the news is full of his strops – just Google ‘Elton John hissy fits’ to see what I mean. Indeed, his partner David Furnish made a movie of some of Elton’s ‘little moments’ and humorously called it Tantrums and Tiaras. Furnish clearly has tener cojones!
I only once heard him perform live; it was in July 2003. I was in Bergen in a hotel on the opposite side of the harbour to Koengen, the city’s outdoor venue where he was appearing. Even in those circumstances you could tell he was a cut above as a musician; shame he’s also such a Prima John-a!
So, here’s the limerick …
Elton’s just broken the news That he’s finished with paying his dues To the music that flowed Down the Yellow Brick Road And that’s why he’s singing the blues!
It’s been a while since a quote made me laugh out loud, but last week’s report of a sushi-loving Californian’s encounter with a tapeworm supplied a couple.
According to the Graun, a resident of Fresno managed to ‘pass’ a tapeworm around five feet six inches in length. Afterwards, he wrapped it around a loo roll and took it to his doctor and asked to be treated for ‘worms’.
The patient had initially been concerned that an extrusion from his derriere was a part of his intestines prolapsing. So why he thought it a good idea to give it a tug is anyone’s guess, but tug it he did and the rest of the tapeworm followed.
The article outlined the life cycle of the tapeworm in the region, noting that bears feeding off salmon can be an alternate host that re-transmit the parasite’s eggs when defecating in rivers. Larvae then hatch and infect small crustaceans that are eaten by salmon that are then caught and processed into sushi which is eaten by wannabe human hosts.
It’s a big’un (ruler is 12 inches).
It was the doctor’s comment that made me laugh:
“He told me he was freaked out, but I guess when you think you’re dying because your entrails are shooting out your bottom and you find out it’s not you, but something else, that’s probably a good thing.”
As did a number of the BTL comments, notably this one:
“‘A typical life cycle might include a bear that feeds on salmon, then defecates back into the river’. That is what happens when bears don’t stick to the rules: they are meant to shit in the woods, not in the river“.
A gratuitous cartoon only loosely linked to the theme of this post.
Postscript: One of the most interesting courses of my undergraduate years was on parasitology, which is why the stated size of the tapeworm didn’t surprise me. They can be much longer than the one above.
The human broad fish tapeworm (Diphyllobothriun latum) can grow up to 10 metres in length comprising a head and thousands of segments (proglottids). Proglottids regularly detach from the tail end and are ‘passed’ by the host before hatching into larvae.
As one of the symptoms of a tapeworm infection can be weight loss, it is no surprise that some people have been tempted to infect themselves for that very purpose (ingesting cysts from the beef tapeworm).
Indeed, tapeworms-as-diet-aid have been marketed for that very reason since the early 20th century – the soprano Maria Callas is reputed to have lost weight dramatically due to the tapeworm diet although many think it unlikely.
But be very careful, people! If the wrong species is ingested, larvae can migrate through the body before encysting which can have all sorts of serious effects (cysticercosis) including death. So don’t eat raw pork!
… there is an equal and opposite reaction; aka Newton’s Third Law of Motion.
It comes as no surprise then, that in response to Donald Trump’s support of the so-called birthing movement that questioned Barack Obama’s true country of origin, a social media reaction has taken place due to the dubiety of Trump’s recent medical report.
The girthing movement as it is known gets its name from doubts over Trump’s recorded weight and height, but it’s greater concern will ultimately comprise the report’s mendacious support of his fitness for office.
No-one could ever accuse Trump of modesty or humblebragging (“I think I am, actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.”), but his latest excursion into the realms of fantasy is a hoot, (“[I’m a] a very stable genius”).
Really? When he believes that “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive”?
What an idiot!
And here’s my tuppence-worth for the week …
With veracity ever so sparse ‘The Donald’ continues his farce And fantasy meets Vainglorious tweets That prove he’s a true genie-a**e
It’s astonishing that with most of the UK covered by weather warnings for snow and ice over the last couple of days, we in Aberdeen and the northeast of Scotland have yet to see sight of it (well, maybe on the far-distant Grampian mountains).
Clear, sunny day at Park Bridge, Deeside, yesterday
We’ve had two cold but beautifully sunny days with a third forecast for tomorrow. The Met Office weather warning infographic shows how much of the UK has been affected, with Aberdeen and its environs warning free.
When Firstborn was little she once asked why dead people are buried in cemeteries. At her age the simplest and most concise answer was tell her that it was to stop people tripping over bodies in the street. That seemed to satisfy her curiosity!
Now, given recent news articles on a modern and (supposed) ecological approach to the disposal of corpses, the equivalent question may be to ask why do we simmer the dead in a pressure cooker (although the answer would stay the same).
This entered my mind last Spring when the Graun reported on the various legal ways that exist to avoid cluttering the streets with decaying matter. One novel approach that is gaining traction in North America comprises alkaline hydrolysis, where a body is put into a sealed container (a so-called resomator) and immersed in a strong solution of hydrogen peroxide; alkali at pH 14. This is then heated to 150°c or more under pressure (so that it doesn’t boil) and left to cook for a while before the liquid effluent is drained and the remaining ‘solids’ are rinsed.
Hair is dissolved and not bleached, which is food for thought for any ‘peroxide blondes’ out there!
Sounds charming, doesn’t it? However, it is said that the ecological benefits are that such ‘liquid cremations’ use far less energy than the traditional fire ceremonies and the liquid residue can be poured down the sanitary sewers or used as a garden fertiliser (the effluent is less alkali than the starting solution).
The solid residue comprises any implants or mercury amalgam fillings (beautifully clean, of course, and no mercury emissions to the atmosphere) and bones. The latter are then dried and crushed to produce the ‘ashes’ to be handed over to the next of kin (or, presumably, dug in to a rose bed!).
In the UK, the first application to start-up a resomation service is now on hold as the relevant licensing bodies remain unconvinced of the benign nature of the effluent. There is also a perception that the Great British public is not yet ready to see its loved ones poured down the drains.
Me? Well, although I think historical graveyards are terrific places to wander around, I don’t like modern ones. Neither do I like the idea of going up in flames or being dissolved. Personally, I want a woodland burial (many years in the future, of course) and, hopefully, without being embalmed (no chemical additives, please!).
Here’s a cheery limerick to finish with …
If the thought of it fills you with dread, Be assured, or so it is said, That St Peter awaits At the Heavenly gates While we’re slowly dissolving the dead!
A recent Graun review of Jon Richardson’s comedy and our own escalating plans for a kitchen renovation came into conjunction this week.
Richardson’s comedy is often based on his obsessive-compulsive disorder. He hypothesizes two types of people: Putters and Leavers. Putters, as the name suggests, put away things that are left out (compulsively in Richardson’s case) and Leavers are, of course, the folk that leave things hanging around until a Putter comes along.
Richardson’s partner, the comedian Lucy Beaumont, is a Leaver and this conflicts with him domestically and is where a lot of his comedy arises. In our family we reverse the rôles, with me the Leaver and Management the Putter (Me: “Where’s my [insert any item that was left lying around]?” She: “I moved it!“).
Meanwhile, on the kitchen front, our plans include provision for a dog bed in the utility room, and this reflects our continuing conversation about getting a dog when I retire, which is where things crossover into Richardson’s world of Putters and Leavers. Discussions about how a dog would fit into the reshaping of our kitchen moved on to it being trained properly and that made me think: Is it possible to train a Leaver to be a Putter and vice versa?
I speculated that to avoid domestic disharmony, I could try to train Management to be a Leaver or she could try to train me as a Putter. In fact, it would be quite funny if we both tried successfully to train the other and managed to reverse our rôles. Her response was cutting: “Just you train the dog and leave me to train you!”
I know my place!
A puppy’s most likely to chew A slipper, a sock or a shoe But as you are slovenly I’ll tell you (quite lovingly) “You train the dog; I’ll train you!”
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